My Twin Labour Story - #VEDA Day 4

Hey guys,

For #VEDA day 4 the topic suggestion given by We Blog We Vlog is to talk about your best day ever, which for me has to be when my twin babies were born. Obviously it wasn't the best day in the sense of wanting to re-live it over and over, as, to be honest experiencing that once was quite enough. However, my life changed after that day, and I thought I'd share with you my personal story so you can get to know me better.

Instead of boring those of you watching my YouTube VEDA videos who don't want to hear about labour, I thought I would put together a montage of videos and pictures to show you how my life has changed from that day up until now.

For those of you who are interested to read about my twin birth story, read on...

Towards the end of my twin pregnancy, like any full term pregnant lady, I was ready to pop. I could barely walk up the stairs and resorted to using my partners hiking stick, which he'd used when he went travelling in Peru... who would have known that would come in handy again! Basically, I was absolutely huge, very uncomfortable and with two sets of hands, elbows, knees and feet knocking about in your belly, I was ready to meet my boys. 
Waiting for my induction date did feel like forever, I eventually found out about a week before the actual induction itself, and so I was to be induced on the 4th December 2012, at 8am. 

I can remember the night before I put on my hypnotherapy CD one last time, and I lay in bed feeling sick with nerves. I doubt I got much sleep at all, what with the boys going crazy at night in my belly (a sign of the crazy nights to come), but also I was terrified. I was new to labour and I just didn't know how I was going to get through this experience. My plan was to experience labour naturally, as that is what my doctors and consultants had pushed for, secretly I wanted to opt in for a C Section, as I knew 50% of twin births end in one anyway. I think my biggest fear was giving birth to one baby naturally and then having to have the C Section anyway.

So this is me on the morning of my induction, which was on the 4th of December, can you tell I'm nervous? I had barely any sleep and I really was ready to pop, we'd put up our Christmas tree early as we knew we wouldn't have time once the boys arrived!

I can remember vividly the taxi ride to the hospital, and that feeling of excitement and nerves at what was to come. I walked into the maternity unit, this was the room that I would wait in until I was dialated enough to go through to the labour ward. I got linked up to an oxycontin drip in order to get the contractions starting, and from then on it was just a waiting game. A lady on the opposite bed to mine was already screaming out in agony every time she experienced a contraction, little did I know we were as far along as each other. At this point I looked over to see Brad, my partner, asleep in his chair - thanks Brad! Whilst he slept I got linked up to a monitor so they could hear the babies heartbeats, so I was sat with my giant belly strapped up, listening to heartbeats that sound like two horses galloping. The contractions were getting stronger now, but I still wasn't really in too much discomfort. It was only after the whole labour was over that I realised I had definitely experienced contractions in the run up to my induction, I just put them down to being braxton hicks but they were probably early signs of labour. So as the woman opposite me sat screaming on her bed with her worried looking husband, I sat calmly (well, sort of), waiting for it all to kick off whilst Brad got a good nap. At least one of us could! This picture is awful, but you can even just see how exhausted I was - and this was just the beginning.

At one point I remember the contractions did get stronger, still I wasn't in too much pain, and I was consistently focusing on my breathing. I was amazed at how in control I was, as the main thing that terrified me about labour was the lack of control you have over the situation. But my way of coping was to focus literally on the moment I was in right now, and I allowed myself to focus on what was going to happen next, I made sure I asked every time I wanted to know what was to happen next, e.g when I was going to move onto the labour ward.

Eventually, after a few walks around the hospital I was dilated enough to move to the labour ward, I was actually in shock as I seriously hadn't felt any pain just discomfort. However, as I walked into this room and looked at the bed I started to realise this was all going to happen and there was nothing I could do about it...

How scary is that room? There was a massive birthing pool just behind where I was standing to take this photo, but unfortunately I didn't get a chance to use it due to being a high risk pregnancy.

Anyway, a lot of what I am to talk about now is a bit of a blur. I remember in this room the contractions did get more intense, I never screamed when they happened, they were manageable as long as I took deep breaths. Here's a photo of me with 'the last supper', they brought this to me as I'd been in the hospital so long, although it did make a reappearance later all down my hospital gown (lovely), here's me looking very light headed on gas and air having some food:

After this the anesthetist came in to give me an epidural, the contractions were getting stronger now. It took at least 8 times until the epidural actually worked, and that was because my spine was curved due to carrying twins, so the anesthetist kept putting the needle in wrong, needless to say my back hasn't been the same since then.  
I know that the epidural took away the pain, but I had it early so I didn't really experience any pain.

The next couple of hours were spent trying to push Twin 1 out. Everyone who examined me could feel that he was 'very low', and said he was in a great position. After hours of pushing and not feeling anything due to the epidural, the surgeons came in to tell me they wanted to try forceps.
This was an absolutely horrific idea to me, I was terrified of being cut down there, but being surrounded by surgeons and exhausted I signed the papers and just wanted these babies out.

Once in surgery this is when things turned worse, the epidural wore off and I immediately went from feeling absolutely nothing to a surge of extreme pain. I screamed and the hospital surgeons who were preparing to use forceps said absolutely nothing and kept preparing the room for the forceps delivery. This was definitely the worst bit of my labour, I remember shouting out 'I'm dying' and nobody would listen to me or give me any comfort and tell me I was okay, that's all I was desperate to hear. 

Eventually a nurse came over and tried to help by giving me lines from my hypnotherapy CD that she must have also listened to. During another increase of pain she asked me 'where did you last go on holiday' and 'imagine yourself on an island', and all I could think of was telling her where to go. I think I ended up just telling her I didn't want to talk about that, and asked Brad to talk to me about my cats, which distracted me slightly from what I was going through.

The hideous forceps came towards me and I blurted out that I didn't really want to go through with this. They hadn't actually cut me open which I was so grateful about, but they did still want to try the forceps. After trying for about 3 minutes they realised twin 1 was just too cosy in there, and the surgeons came back over to tell me I was going to have a C-Section. HALLELUJAH!

By this time the anesthetist came back through (thank goodness) and dosed me up on more drugs for the c-section. Moments later the curtain was up and it was all happening, I wasn't even nervous any more just exhausted and ready to get this whole day over with. By this time it was approaching 5am and I didn't even know how I'd been awake all day and night, it's not like I slept the previous night either!

All of a sudden behind the curtain I heard a cry, and realised that was my baby! I never thought they'd cry at birth I always thought I'd be panicking as they tried to resuscitate my babies, but I was so lucky to hear a loud healthy cry. Dylan, twin 2, aka the smaller twin was born first, followed by Twin 1 - Sebastian, who had lodged himself into my pelvis.  

I remember hearing the midwives say how gorgeous they were as they cleaned and dressed them. Brad brought them over for me to see, but being stitched up laying flat on the operating table I was unable to get a look and just saw a bundle of sheets.
It was only when being wheeled out of the delivery room I was able to see my babies. They were put into either side of my arms, which was not the most ideal thing seeing as I was so exhausted and at that point they were quite heavy.

We then went into a recovery room, where I was immediately told to start breastfeeding, and pretty much left to attempt it myself. I'll write a separate post on my breastfeeding twins story, as that's quite a lengthy one.

I hope you found my labour story helpful. If you're pregnant with multiples now, congratulations, and try not to stress about it being a high risk pregnancy. Also, try to remain calm about the labour. Whilst labour is a very scary thing, women have been doing it since the beginning of time, and these days there is so much that can be given to help you out.

If I could go back and do it again, or if I become pregnant with twins again in the future, I will probably opt for a C-Section. In my opinion, I went through a lot more pain and was so exhausted after attempting a natural labour too, that I wish I'd never even tried to give birth naturally. I'm not saying you shouldn't try if you want to as 50% of twin mothers can give birth naturally, but if you are worried or concerned about it and would prefer to have a section, then by all means talk with your consultant about it.

I'd love to hear from you if you're a twin mum, or if you're pregnant with twins, leave me a comment and please subscribe to my YouTube channel for more videos like this:




Lots of love,
Samantha Dawn
xoxo

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How To Deal With A Breakup Maturely

Hey guys!

Here's my first ever 'life post', i'll be doing more of these where I talk about general life topics. My first subject is one that we all go through at one point or another, a break up. You could be the most gorgeous woman in the world, in the most outwardly stable looking relationship, and even you may not know that things are falling apart. I want to show you how to maturely handle a breakup, and avoid the drama that can occur from one.

Now firstly we have to split this post into two areas as either you broke up with someone or they broke up with you. Whichever one it is, there are certain ways you should and shouldn't act after a breakup. When a breakup occurs there are so many emotions that it's difficult to stop a minute and really consider the way you might be acting outwardly. I want to focus on the ways a breakup can be done without the drama that can follow. I am talking from experience here, and have myself done things I wish I could go back and change. 

Let's start with a breakup you initiated. Clearly you wanted out of the relationship, it wasn't working for you and so you decided to part ways. However, sometimes we can easily fall back on what we said and be unsure of our decision.

BREAKING UP WITH SOMEONE MATURELY

• If you break up with someone, don't rely on them to be a shoulder to cry on when you need one, nor can you rely on them to be a friend to talk to regularly
• Don't tell your ex you still love them, or give them any hope of a reconciliation if you are sure there isn't going to be one
• Reduce if not cease all contact at least until you both have had time to deal with emotions and move on
• Do not flaunt a new lover in front of your ex, don't hurt them any more than you need to
• Be wary of discussing details with mutual friends, they will tell your ex everything
• Do not try to get your ex jealous either through social media or any other way. This is probably one of the most important and most common things that people do to each other. Even if you broke up with your ex because they hurt you, is there any point stooping to their level to hurt them back? It may just cause retaliation and you'll see them flaunt new lovers in front of you.
• Social media in general: Do not make status' about your ex, upload 'i'm over it' photos of you happily out with other people or have your news feed/twitter consumed with conversations of you with the opposite sex to get your ex jealous.
• If you see your ex out, which is a difficult thing to experience, it's best to just say hello and smile and make an exit rather than ignore this person. Ignoring them shows you're still hurt by them, and not only that it shows an immaturity. If they ignore you then fair enough, at least you know you made the right decision in breaking up with them
• Do not make your breakup public on social media, there are settings so that you don't have to announce to the world that things are over. It's not pretty when you see a big broken heart symbol on your news feed, and everyone asking what happened

If someone breaks up with you, it is so easy to let emotions drive your actions and you may end up walking away from a situation not only hurt but embarrassed by the way you acted. Here is some advice on how to walk away from a breakup initiated by your ex, and keep your dignity. Some of the advice is the same as above but there are other things you need to consider when you are not the one that has made the decision to end things.

DEALING WITH A BREAKUP MATURELY

• It may not be your decision or what you want, but accepting that your relationship is over is the best thing you can do. The easier you accept the decision the more surprised your ex will be
• Cut all communication, show them that if they don't want to be with you, they aren't going to be able to talk to you when they want
• Go out with friends and just have a good time, don't go out with the need to meet someone else, or make them jealous. Just go out with the intention to enjoy spending time with your friends, something that normally happens less when you're in a relationship
• Keep busy, especially in the early days. You may feel like sulking around the house or crying into your pillow, but just get outside. Go for a walk to the park, or shopping (retail therapy!), the more you get out the better you'll feel, and it's less time spent looking at your phone
• Do not get drunk and tell them you still love them, or send an angry text, and don't write a letter to them. I'm sure there's a lot you want to say and ask about the situation, but it's not a good time to do so
• Don't listen to friends who want to tell you what your ex is up to or gossip about your breakup. They aren't true friends if they secretly delight in your breakup, do not give them the satisfaction of telling you your ex got with someone else at a club last night etc
• Do not consume alcohol and call or text your ex with either abuse or nostalgia for your relationship
• Don't jump into another relationship, or get with someone just because you're hurt. You'll regret it and if there was a way to mend your broken relationship, doing that would well and truly end things
• Never go on a night out with the intention of bumping into your ex. It's so tempting to do this but you may regret it when you see them with someone else. Plus alcohol and ex's never ends well, you'll probably end up getting jealous or upset and crying in the toilets

If you want your ex back the best thing you can ever do is move on with your life, show them that you don't care and that you're happy. Even if inside you're still hurting and you cry every night, do not let them see that side of you. People are attracted to others who are strong, independent and happy, not someone who calls 10 times a day to cry and ask why you can't get back together.

“If you really love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours, if not it wasn’t meant to be.”

Breakups hurt, and we all go through them. Nothing anyone says will help your situation, all you can do is let time heal your wounds and in the mean time keep yourself busy. The best way to move on from any relationship is with your head held high knowing that you didn't embarrass yourself in any way. It is so difficult to not let emotions drive you to looking like an insane person who just wants their ex back, but trust me if you don't do the above things and instead keep yourself busy you'll come off looking like a strong individual, and other people will be attracted to you for that.

‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Alfred Lord Tennyson

Lots of love,
Samantha Dawn
xoxo

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Sophie The Giraffe Product Review

EDIT: Now my boys are older (8 months), they have shown a little more interest in Sophie. However, I would not recommend buying this toy below 6 months, and it may take some time for your little one to warm to it :)

If you're a mum and you haven't heard of Sophie the Giraffe, then where have you been hiding? Sophie the Giraffe seems to be in every babies household. She is described as the top teething toy for babies that has 'wowed over 50 million babies (and parents.)' 

If you're reading this review I guess you want to know whether I was one of those 50 million parents wowed by this product. Well, yes and no. Yes I was one of those parents that bought Sophie, and no neither I, nor my babies were 'wowed'.

I remember the first time I heard about Sophie the Giraffe I looked her up online and saw this hideous giraffe toy. The manufacturer proudly explains how they have not changed the design since the original Sophie's were made in 1961, but am I the only person out there who thinks they really should? On the looks basis alone I questioned buying her, the permanent creepy surprised face and big black eyes does nothing for me.

A few months passed and my newborns turned into little dribbling, teething, monster babies, and I again went back to question whether or not I should purchase this ugly Giraffe to keep my twins from gnawing their hands off. I saw that for a limited time Sophie was reduced to £9.99 on Amazon, and I decided to buy one as a trial for my boys.

When Sophie arrived I was quite excited and intrigued to see how amazing she was going to be. If you speak to other mothers, they've all got one, and rave about her helping their dribbling babies with their teeth. As a mother it is customary to take a picture of your baby and Sophie telling everyone how much your baby loves it, even if the photo of them with her is completely staged by you. Like this one, (yes I said Sophie was a hit literally seconds after my baby had her in his hands for the first time...I lied.)

I'm sure 90% of mothers who take a photo of their baby with a Sophie Giraffe have given it them in a particular way so that it looks like their baby loves her. In reality as soon as the photo is taken, Sophie has dropped and your baby is gnawing on their hand again.

To my boys, (and with twins I had two babies to trial this product), they weren't the least bit interested in this ugly giraffe. Amongst my mummy friends Sophie is known as 'the dog toy', partially because she squeaks like most dog toys do, but also because most of the mothers eventually just gave her to their dogs.

I'm not sure why Sophie is such a hit with parents, as you can see even celebrity mums carry her around with them, (please note that as a parent you will most likely end up carrying Sophie everywhere you go):

Jessica Alba, Baby and Sophie

Pink, Daddy, Baby and Sophie

Sandra Bullock, Baby and Sophie

Nicole Richie, Baby and Sophie

Maybe we end up finding this ugly giraffe cute and enjoy taking pictures of our babies with her. I'll be honest even I thought it was cute when I saw my little boy with a giraffe. Maybe we're all just following the hype and not wanting to expose our own babies as Sophie haters, when every other baby out there apparently 'loves it.' Or maybe I'm alone in my opinion and you and your babies all think this 'gorgeous' giraffe is a god send. 

Don't get me wrong, my boys (who are 8 months old now) have started smiling if I squeak Sophie, but they also smile when I pull a silly face at them, so I'm not blown away with getting a smile for £10. As a teething toy Sophie has done absolutely nothing to help aid my boys in their teething issues. One of my boys had his two bottom teeth through at once, and I can honestly say Sophie did not help with his teething pain at any point. She is also made of rubber, and if you give her a sniff (go on, you know you want to), you get a foul strong rubber smell, even after cleaning her. The taste isn't better either, no wonder my babies aren't blown away by smelly Sophie.

My advice to any of you mothers who have read other great reviews on Amazon etc about this amazing baby teether, don't believe them. Sophie the Giraffe is just an ugly overrated dog toy, that'll sit in your house unused. I imagine the positive reviews will end up swaying your judgement and you'll purchase her just to see for yourself the little interest your baby will have with her, it's just one of those things us mothers do, we have to see for ourselves. 
All I can say is your baby is going to struggle with teeth no matter what you do, and a giraffe isn't going to help. Sorry Sophie.

Let me know whether Sophie was a hit with your little one, or if you didn't bother believing the hype in the first place. I'd love to know.

Lots of love,
Samantha Dawn
xoxo

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Clairol Nice 'n Easy Natural Permanent Hair Colour 101 Natural Baby

Hey guys,

I thought I'd tell you about my all time favourite boxed hair dye, which is Clairol's Nice n Easy Blonde Permanent Hair Colour in Natural Baby 101. I use this dye on a regular basis to keep my hair a gorgeous light blonde colour, and normally buy this from Boots, and is normally on offer there, but it's also available elsewhere.

When I was younger my hair was white blonde, and growing up it remained that way. In the last few years I've noticed the brightness of my blonde locks diminishing, and I'm slowly getting a more dull sandy blonde colour :( As you can see in this photo below my roots are darker, they look ginger here but normally they just look a dull blonde colour.

and with Nice 'n Easy's boxed hair dye in 101 Natural Baby I get to keep it this colour, (excuse the glasses it was fancy dress):

It's a very simple hair dye kit to use, you basically have three separate containers and some gloves, the first two bottles (the dye) are labelled 1 and 2. You simply mix the liquids in 1 and 2 together and you have your hair dye ready to use. The bottle labelled 3 is the conditioner you use once the dye has been washed out, to keep it looking bright and healthy.

If you've never used this hair colour before, I would definitely recommend you do a skin allergy test 48 hours before applying this to your hair.

I currently leave this hair dye on for the full 45 minutes to make sure my darker roots are completely gone. However, if you just need a little boost of colour you can leave it on for just 25 minutes.

What I love most about this hair dye is that afterwards your hair feels light and well conditioned. It also highlights and tones my hair, it's as though I've just stepped out of a hair salon, but without the price tag!

Personally I think this hair colour works best with dark blondes and light brown shades of hair. I cannot say that it would work to the same effect if you have dark brown hair, but it would probably still brighten it and give it a healthy lighter look.

At the moment I'm experimenting with my hair colours and am going to attempt to get my hair a silver white blonde, so look out for that tutorial blog post coming soon!

Lots of love,

Samantha Dawn

xoxo

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Congratulations Kate Middleton Gives Birth To Baby Boy

Just a post to celebrate the birth of a royal baby boy! So exciting. Congratulations Kate and William on your gorgeous baby boy!

Nina Nesbitt Style Get The Look

If you don't know who Nina Nesbitt is, then I'm sure you will soon enough. Nina is a rising star in the music world, she's a Scottish born model-turned-singer-songwriter. 

I've known about Nina for a couple of years now, even before she hit the fame and the followers (aka Nesbians), after being taken on tour with Example and Ed Sheeran. No person can deny that Nina is absolutely stunning, but there's more than that, she's also extremely talented. If you listen to her music you'll see she has an amazing voice, and really does have the X Factor, without (thankfully) needing to be on The X Factor TV show to prove it. If you haven't seen her live, I suggest you do, she really is an amazing performer, you can subscribe to her YouTube channel to listen to her songs. Oh, and if she seems familiar to you it's probably because she appears in Ed Sheeran's music video for his hit song 'Drunk'.

Moving away from the amazing talent, beauty and perfection, I want to discuss Nina's style, something I absolutely love. I think the thing I love most about the way Nina chooses to dress is that she isn't too girly. Obviously, on the odd occasion she does get dolled up for an award ceremony, and she looks amazing, but I much prefer the rock girl, tom boy look she has which reminds me of a cross between Kurt Cobain and Brigitte Bardot. She normally dresses smart casual, and everything looks as though she just plucked it out of a wardrobe when in fact most if not all of her attire has been carefully pieced together. In Nina's own words she says, 'My personal style is pretty casual. I love big baggy jumpers, skinny jeans, denim shorts. I’m in to studs in a big way and have a big leather stud jacket but I like to team it with cute tops or floaty skirts. So I guess my style could be described as rock versus pretty.'

I'm not going to focus on getting Nina's beauty look, as that deserves it's own separate post where I'll focus on how you can get that voluminous blonde hair or recreate her cat eye and red lips look. Today I want to talk about her style, and I'll be dissecting a few of my favourite Nina looks and show you how to copy her style.

NINA NESBITT GET THE LOOK

I think one of the first things every rock chick needs in her wardrobe is a leather jacket. Leather jackets can be expensive, although there are cheaper faux leather imitations if you don't want to spend too much. However, real leather jackets are worth the money as they never go out of fashion, and even when worn over many years still look great. Nina's leather jacket below has had some customisation with studs, you can either do this yourself or buy jackets that have already had this done to them.

My favourite choice of leather jacket that is closest to the one Nina wears in the photo above is the ASOS RECLAIMED VINTAGE Original Leather Oversized Biker Jacket, priced £165. This one obviously doesn't come with the studs but has the same quilted effect to the shoulders:

You can buy studs to customise the jacket on Ebay, and there are several YouTube videos on how to customise a leather jacket.

Next, any rock star needs sunglasses, and Nina has a great collection of shades including these gorgeous round tortoiseshell sunglasses. Similar high street versions of Nina's sunglasses can be found at Nasty Gal 'Janis Shades' $20 (currently sold out) or ASOS Round Sunglasses with Metal Bridge Detail were £12 now just £8!

Probably my favourite accessory Nina wears is her felt pork pie hat. I think it goes really well with her whole smart casual look, you can buy a similar one at ASOS, normally £20 but currently on sale at £14:

She also wears this gorgeous Black Rolled Brim Bowler Hat from River Island priced at £20:

I've noticed one of Nina's main combinations to wear are denim shorts, and graphic t shirts. When it comes to graphic shirts the more random the better, you can see below Nina is wearing a cute cat with a bow tie tshirt:

Here are some examples of graphic tshirts you could wear with shorts, if the shirt has sleeves, rolling them up a little will make the tshirt have a more feminine and fitted look.  Also try abd make sure the logo isn't too far down the shirt as you will be tucking the lower half into shorts. 

These shirts are from Urban Outfitters, the MTV Animal Tee and the Nirvana Tee are both £32.

There are a variety of different styles of denim shorts to wear too, Nina tends to wear acid wash style ripped denim shorts. Some of my favourite pairs currently on sale are below, you can customise them with studs again if you wish to. If you're not comfortable with bearing your legs in shorts, pair them with some black tights, Nina does this especially in winter time so she can create this look all year round.

These Black Acid Wash ripped shorts are £19.99 at New Look

and these lighter blue BDG Acid Wash Roll Hem Shorts are from Urban Outfitters priced at £40.00.

Another version I love are these Vintage Renewal Destroyed Denim Shorts by Levi sold at Urban Outfitters.

Finally shoes, and Nina isn't much of a heels girl, which is another thing I like about her. She's mostly found wearing White Converse, priced £50 or Black Nike Blazer Mid Trainers, priced £70. If she does go for a smarter style of shoe it's normally a pair of brogues, these Leather Brogues from ASOS were £45 now only £31.50

My final bit of advice for those wanting to dress like Nina is to experiment. For example, instead of going into TOPSHOP and picking out a jumper, why not go into TOPMAN? Nina does this herself, and ended up picking up this gorgeous Beatles jumper, £45, which makes for a nice oversized jumper on her. Sadly the jumper is now sold out, but you can see that Nina doesn't stick to just women's clothing to create her style!

I hope you enjoyed this blog post, let me know if you'd be interested in seeing any more Nina Nesbitt related posts, and leave me a comment to tell me what you'd like to see :)

Lots of love,
Samantha Dawn
xoxo

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